A Living Catalyst

constant reviews

there are always periods of time when i flop into the bush thinking about life.

when life is actually about living, once in a while we tend to jus think about how we want to go about living it.
and for me, its the time now.

like how i say i had forgotten about myself being pathetically single who has jus a brief encounter with love, i thought maybe i need some adjustments now.

adjust to become more independent, and maybe more cynical.
but i dun wish to be cynical like some who had struck love so easily but end up still a grumbling single who thought why haven she gotten married. beautiful and cheery, then why arent u settled down when its what u longed for always? certainly there is a problem with herself which she cant see. then be beautiful and cheery and single then.

for me, i might be jus as cynical when i was single, bitter about why i am still unattached.
but when one gets unattached, didnt i lose some of my individuality and used up a certain amount of time planning for the both of us?
i do willingly, because quality time is really needed for couples.
driving and driving, me with a purpose but sometimes it does seems that i am the only one pursuing. i do 10, u do 1. then i start to wonder... maybe its really the way u are.
what about me?
or maybe its not jus in love that i do the plannings, i realised most of my friends do turn to me in planning for events.. hmm or maybe its me that is too kaypoh.
but after the planning i then to sometimes have negative feelings which are not healthy to every sort of relationships.
or maybe thats why i slipped into loner mode when i was in sec school and jc. it seems much more easier to go about doing my own stuffs.
of cos, its not very high EQ for me to go back to loner mode again because i realised in living a life, humans need to interact with other beings. it makes life more eventful though sweet and sour is the flavour.

recently i bought a t-shirt with the writings: i love berry, its sweet and sour.
sometimes it seems it explains.

okok, perk up in a cloudy day is what i want to do.
enjoy everyone around me.

gliding above the clouds while on plane is actually a relevation.
rain or shine below u, around the plane is always a blinding white.
always look above the mortally world in times of dire. its not an escape, but a let go.
no no, i am not a nun to be.

posted by simplecatalyst @ Monday, April 30, 2007